Your Adult Child
Have you ever
been with an adult child that throws tantrums and behaves
like a child?
Have you ever been with an adult child that throws tantrums
and behaves like a child?
Most of us know people in our lives that are just fine when
they are having their own way and things are going along
fine. But what happens when things don’t turn out their way
they get all stressed up about something?
They behave like a spoilt four year old. You know who I
mean. Maybe personally and intimately. They become what all
children are, needy and self centered with little thought
of you or your needs. I am not against kids by the way.
So what is happening when this happens and what can you do
about it?
The first thing to realise is that they would be unable to
operate in this mode if the people around them did not
tolerate it and allow it to continue. The problem is most
of these bullies do surround them selves with people who
will allow them to behave in this way. It is a symbiotic
relationship that both parties benefit from. The adult
child get what they want and the victims get what they
need.
The second point to note is that both parties are operating
from subconscious programs that they may be totally unaware
of. The adult child is running unconscious programs that
are very effective at getting them what they want and the
victim of the child's tantrums is not mature enough to take
the action necessary to prevent or stop the child's
attacks. You know what happens if you let a kid get away
with it they will do it again.
These people have what psychologists call a personality
disorder and become emotional vampires draining you of your
emotional life. They are not bad enough to have a medical
problem we usually call them difficult people and they will
often use the excuse” thats the way I am” “ I can’t help
it” I had a difficult childhood” or some other excuse for a
lack of personal growth and maturity.
What
you can do about it?
Remember these people have reverted at an unconscious level
to the programs they used as a four year old and one of the
ways that you can spoil their tantrums is to treat them in
exactly the same way as if a child did this to you.
Setting limits.
Arranging contingencies.
- Being consistent.
- Keeping lectures and excuses to a minimum.
- Rewarding good behavior.
- Ignoring bad behavior.
- Giving them time out.
The problem is going to be that you or other people in the group have allowed this person to behave like this for some time. It may take time for the changes to take effect and there is going to be a lot of work necessary for the changes to take place and with out personal insight from the adult child they may not. They have a very effective way to get what they want. Why should they change?
If it is boss or someone else who you feel you can not walk away from them the situation can seam more difficult to deal with and this is were you may have to mature and grow up in this area of your life. Work stress is a big problem and you may have to be mature your self and own up to the fact that you have to learn how to handle it or get another job.
We have effective therapy and personal development training to help you do this.
One of the best ways to work on your self is to use the “Big Four” A set of very powerful self hypnosis recordings designed to remove some big issues that every adult on the planet has running at a subconscious level of mind you might also want to call me and discuss your current situation.