What is “Secondary Gain” and ”Tertiary Gain”
Until
recently secondary gain and tertiary gain was a
big bug bear in any kind of change work and
personal growth, however now we understand it
better we have very effective ways to get round
it, so it is no longer the problem it was, if you
have the skills and understanding to minimise and
remove it’s effect.
Even being aware of it is no guarantee that the problem will disappear, if the person who is experiencing the problem, has to make to many changes in life, and be responsible for them.
If someone likes to be a victim, or it serves a beneficial purpose at the moment in life, it may be easer to stay that way. Personal responsibility and power can be a very difficult thing to live with.
So what is secondary gain?
Basically it is conscious or more commonly a subconscious benefit for keeping the problem. A big part of therapy is to allow the client to be come aware of this and remove it, otherwise it will hinder the required results.
Let me give you an example.
A client complains of stress, because of this they allow themselves to get stressed, this allows them to tell people how stressed they are and talk about the problem and they will if you do not stop them.
So they may get attention, hugs, sympathy or other benefits, like time off work, not having to do the DIY at home, allowing themselves to drink or smoke a lot more than is healthy, or manipulate others with emotional outbursts and mood swings.
These are secondary gains in life.
Often they are overlooked or have become subconscious due to auto pilot responses and habitual thinking. Our unconscious mind never creates a behaviour or habit for a negative reason, it always has a beneficial result in mind.
In the example above, this person gets more attention and comfort and human contact. Some people may even give them sympathy for their own reasons, they may not have to work and get paid to have time off, doing what they want. If they take it to extremes they may even spend months off work and get paid for it.
This is not as strange as it sounds, if you think about it.
It is often said that we have an inner child and most of how we are, was programmed in to us at an earlier time, and part of this is true.
However as adults it is our responsibility to be in control of our minds and remove old programs if they no longer support us and our outcomes.
So now you know what secondary gain is and may become aware of any area where you may be running it in your life.
Tertiary Gain.
Sometimes others can benefit from you keeping your problem and this is called ”Tertiary Gain”. This is where someone other than you has something to gain, from you staying as you are. When you change they will loose much.
An example may be a partner, parent, loved one or family member, or even a friend, who because of your problem derives some financial, emotional or ego based benefits, that otherwise they would not get, unless they learn some new skills.
When you attempt to change, grow and minimise or remove your problem you may well come up against massive resistance to it. They will often experience fear, anxiety,worry and panic attacks due to the loss they will experience, and may attempt to hold you back.
This may be a conscious or unconscious process on their part. For that reason Pilgrim Self Hypnosis CD’s and MP3 downloads have specific suggestions for the benefit of all. This will often allow the tertiary gain to be reduced in the person concerned.
Even being aware of it is no guarantee that the problem will disappear, if the person who is experiencing the problem, has to make to many changes in life, and be responsible for them.
If someone likes to be a victim, or it serves a beneficial purpose at the moment in life, it may be easer to stay that way. Personal responsibility and power can be a very difficult thing to live with.
So what is secondary gain?
Basically it is conscious or more commonly a subconscious benefit for keeping the problem. A big part of therapy is to allow the client to be come aware of this and remove it, otherwise it will hinder the required results.
Let me give you an example.
A client complains of stress, because of this they allow themselves to get stressed, this allows them to tell people how stressed they are and talk about the problem and they will if you do not stop them.
So they may get attention, hugs, sympathy or other benefits, like time off work, not having to do the DIY at home, allowing themselves to drink or smoke a lot more than is healthy, or manipulate others with emotional outbursts and mood swings.
These are secondary gains in life.
Often they are overlooked or have become subconscious due to auto pilot responses and habitual thinking. Our unconscious mind never creates a behaviour or habit for a negative reason, it always has a beneficial result in mind.
In the example above, this person gets more attention and comfort and human contact. Some people may even give them sympathy for their own reasons, they may not have to work and get paid to have time off, doing what they want. If they take it to extremes they may even spend months off work and get paid for it.
This is not as strange as it sounds, if you think about it.
It is often said that we have an inner child and most of how we are, was programmed in to us at an earlier time, and part of this is true.
However as adults it is our responsibility to be in control of our minds and remove old programs if they no longer support us and our outcomes.
So now you know what secondary gain is and may become aware of any area where you may be running it in your life.
Tertiary Gain.
Sometimes others can benefit from you keeping your problem and this is called ”Tertiary Gain”. This is where someone other than you has something to gain, from you staying as you are. When you change they will loose much.
An example may be a partner, parent, loved one or family member, or even a friend, who because of your problem derives some financial, emotional or ego based benefits, that otherwise they would not get, unless they learn some new skills.
When you attempt to change, grow and minimise or remove your problem you may well come up against massive resistance to it. They will often experience fear, anxiety,worry and panic attacks due to the loss they will experience, and may attempt to hold you back.
This may be a conscious or unconscious process on their part. For that reason Pilgrim Self Hypnosis CD’s and MP3 downloads have specific suggestions for the benefit of all. This will often allow the tertiary gain to be reduced in the person concerned.