Your Adult Child
Have you
ever been with an adult child that throws tantrums
and behaves like a child?
Have you ever been with an adult child that throws
tantrums and behaves like a child?
Most of us know people in our lives that are just
fine when they are having their own way and things
are going along fine. But what happens when things
don’t turn out their way they get all stressed up
about something?
They behave like a spoilt four year old. You know who
I mean. Maybe personally and intimately. They become
what all children are, needy and self centred with
little thought of you or your needs. I am not against
kids by the way.
So what is happening when this happens and what can
you do about it?
The first thing to realise is that they would be
unable to operate in this mode if the people around
them did not tolerate it and allow it to continue.
The problem is most of these bullies do surround them
selves with people who will allow them to behave in
this way. It is a symbiotic relationship that both
parties benefit from. The adult child get what they
want and the victims get what they need.
The second point to note is that both parties are
operating from subconscious programs that they may be
totally unaware of. The adult child is running
unconscious programs that are very effective at
getting them what they want and the victim of the
child's tantrums is not mature enough to take the
action necessary to prevent or stop the child's
attacks. You know what happens if you let a kid get
away with it they will do it again.
These people have what psychologists call a
personality disorder and become emotional vampires
draining you of your emotional life. They are not bad
enough to have a medical problem we usually call them
difficult people and they will often use the excuse”
thats the way I am” “ I can’t help it” I had a
difficult childhood” or some other excuse for a lack
of personal growth and maturity.
What
you can do about it?
Remember these people have reverted at an unconscious
level to the programs they used as a four year old
and one of the ways that you can spoil their tantrums
is to treat them in exactly the same way as if a
child did this to you.
Setting limits.
Arranging contingencies.
- Being consistent.
- Keeping lectures and excuses to a minimum.
- Rewarding good behaviour.
- Ignoring bad behaviour.
- Giving them time out.
The problem is going to be that you or other people in the group have allowed this person to behave like this for some time. It may take time for the changes to take effect and there is going to be a lot of work necessary for the changes to take place and with out personal insight from the adult child they may not. They have a very effective way to get what they want. Why should they change?
If it is boss or someone else who you feel you can not walk away from them the situation can seam more difficult to deal with and this is were you may have to mature and grow up in this area of your life. Work stress is a big problem and you may have to be mature your self and own up to the fact that you have to learn how to handle it or get another job.
We have effective therapy and personal development training to help you do this.
One of the best ways to work on your self is to use the “Big Four” A set of very powerful self hypnosis recordings designed to remove some big issues that every adult on the planet has running at a subconscious level of mind you might also want to call me and discuss your current situation.